dean_winchester

1. I left.
2. I told her in a note instead of face to face.
3. She deserved a better explanation.
4. I really didn't have one.
5. I shouldn't have let it get as far as it did.
6. She moved on to someone else.
7. I know that she's better off without me.
8. I love her.
9. She loves me.
10. Did I mention the note?

The biggest problem is that we don't have a relationship anymore. Yeah, I know, Nic, not need to shoot the glare and insults over here. We don't have one because I walked away. I left her a letter, and then took off. It's not like I expected her to understand. It was a shit way to leave things. Words on paper really can't sum up what we had going on. I knew that, and I did it anyway. What can I say? It's the way I handle things. You know, by not actually handling them.

Things were good with Nic before I decided it was time to go. Truth be told, they were too good, and it scared the hell out of me. She'll probably roll her eyes and call me a jackass, but it's true. Neither of us live normal lives. We're shackled to our families. We're destined to deal with the shit that goes bump in the night. It was a good fit for us. We understood where the other was coming from.

Then one day I woke up and I couldn't breathe. I felt consumed by the responsibilities of my family and hers. I realized when I looked at her I was thinking of a future, and that just isn't possible. Not in the life I lead. Maybe she can have that with her new girlfriend. I don't know. I just know that I'm nobody's future.

I'm the letter on the table as I walk out the door.